Champaign Dreams

I dreamed, that reason and truth might rule the world instead of religions and self-installed gods, and that the later are kept under glass in museums. And in my dreams there was no place any more for saints and gods, who use to judge man as heretics or as immoral.

I dreamed, that mankind will live free from hate against each other, that culture, birth, tradition, colour or race will lose its deviding function. I dreamed, that men find paradise here on earth, and not commiting crime and murder against each other to reserve a place in heaven after life. I dreamed, that love brings people together, rather that laws or social normatives, and that sympathy and attraction between two people would be the only reason to come together, not their cultural background, nor nation, gender or age.

I dreamed that people would do the biggest creations ever, not because they have to fight against poverty or death, but because they want to rise above nature and tradition and convention, because they want to discover the unknown land and conquere the desert and turn it into a flowering garden. I dreamed that men were doing good things, not because they fear punishment from a false god, but because they believe in the eternal values of good and beauty and truth.

I dreamed a silly dream, that at the end of my 4th life decade I start a second period of life with a 25 years old persian princess, who thinks that books and historical myths are useless, who fears spiders and ants, who loves McDonals and KFC fast food more than anything else. Whereas she does not know the magic of her blue eyes, she tries every morning to defeat her wild hair with cremes and razor-blades.

Ghazal, you should know that you are a woman, not a girl any more, and that you can easily drive a man into madness or into heroism. If you only want, you can be a queen and become myth as the founder of a new, enlightened empire, where love and reason rule, rather than superstition, religions and the hate and war they cause. Ghazal, my persian princess, your beauty and wisdom and grace does not put a spell only on me, but will seduce everybody who sees you.

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Ich träumte, dass Vernuft die Welt regiert und Religionen nurmehr in Museen zu bestaunen seien und keine Götter uns mehr zu Ketzern oder zu Abtrünnigen abstempeln.

Ich träumte, dass Menschen ohne Hass leben, dass Herkunft, Kultur oder Tradition, Hautfarbe und Rassen unwichtig werden.Ich träumte, dass Menschen ihr Paradies hier auf Erden fänden, und nicht Verbrechen begehen müssten für ein jenseitiges Himmelreich. Ich träumte, dass Liebe die Menschen zusammenführte, und nicht staatliche Gesetze und Normen, dass Liebe das einzige Argument wäre für die Verbindung zwischen zwei Menschen, egal ob sie Geschlecht, Kultur, Nation oder Alter mehr trennt als vereint.

Ich träumte, dass die Menschen Grosses leisteten, ohne Angst vor der Armut, dass sie sich erheben über die Natur und über die Konventionen und über das Althergebrachte einzig und allein, weil sie nach Höherem und nach Wahrheit und nach Erkenntnis streben. Ich träumte, dass die Menschen gut sind weil sie an die Macht des Guten glauben, und nicht weil sie ein Gott belohnt oder bestraft für ihre irdischen Taten.

Ich träumte einen wahnsinnigen Traum, dass ich am Ende meines 4. Lebensjahrzents ein zweites Leben beginne mit einer 25-jährigen persischen Prinzessin, die mit Bücher und mit Historien-Mythen wenig anfangen kann, die sich vor Spinnen und Ameisen fürchtet, die Fast-Food von McDonalds und KFC vergöttert, die aber den Zauber ihrer blauen Augen selber noch nie wahr genommen hat und ihr widerspenstiges Haar mit Cremes und Rasiermessern zu bändigen versucht. Ghazal, Du bist eine Frau, Du bist kein Kind mehr, Du kannst einen Mann zum Wahnsinn treiben oder zum Heldentum, und wenn Du willst wirst Du zur Königin und zum Mythos eines aufgeklärten, neuen Reiches in dem Liebe und Vernuft regieren statt Aberglauben, Kirche und Hass.
Ghazal, meine persische Prinzessin, Deine Schönheit und Deine Anmut und Deine Klugheit schlägt nicht nur mich in seinen Bann, sondern wird alle verzaubern, die Dich erblicken.

Beach without you

Hi Ghazal, my Dear,

I hope you are doing well and feel o.k.
Is it quiet now in the Lab ? Usually this is the best time to concentrate on the project. I hope so much that you find some intellectual satisfaction with the project and not have to consider it as a hard burden and a duty to fulfill.
I prepared some text about the mapping, the markers, the mouse strains and linkage. It should somehow fit into the thesis structure (as much as I remember it was part 2 or so). Just break it apart into the several sub-headings.

And of course, if you find in the text something difficult to understand or wrong or strange, please write me back. I very much like the intellectual conversation with you and I learn a lot from your questions as well.

I will also send you something that explains the animal experiments (the older ones we did years ago and the JF1 x FVB crosses). Was Prof. T. already around ?

I think of you and your aristocratic character, that is so much different from the people here around which are very loud and miss any sense of ellegance. This is usually what one can expect at a beach,but the kids like this and therefore I have to decline.
I”m waiting to see you next week.

Take Care,my dear

Michael

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Hi Michael!!

T. has not been here yet. I think he chose this week on purpose. Both
you and M. are on vacation.
It is a bit quiet yes. I put aside the labwork yesterday and today to
sit and read and write. btw, the sequencing worked!! im happy. me and
claudia will maybe analyse the data later today.
it is not a burden to do this project. everything has been good so far.

I do not know how to thank you for writing so much for me. i have
written a bit about the mapping and microsatellite and QTL. but it was
not as much as yours. so thank you. you should not do this on your
vacation. just go and have fun. right now i am concentrating at the
first part with chernobyl and thyroid cancer.

take care and see you next week!

/ghazal

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Ghazal my Dear,

Good to hear that you managed so well to continue with the project and the thesis during this week. Good luck with the sequence analysis,hope you and C. find some interesting variations between the two strains.
I attache a piece of text that describes the rational for using the JF1 and the FVB/N strain in this project. Please double-check if any of the chromosomal loci or gene names are consistent with what you wrote before. Also, in case you find any other discrepancies with the other text-pieces,please mark it in red and we will go through when I am back.

Ghazal, please don”t feel obliged to say “Thank you” for these small pieces of text. It is my very duty as a supervisor to help you with this. It is you who is doing the sophisticated and very decent experimental work day-by-day, without complaining that it is getting boring. Therefore,it is in fact me who must be extremely grateful. Don”t forget this, please.
And what is maybe even more relevant, that you always have this endless patience with me, if I come around and require that you spend the time after work with me. No MSc student has the commitment of going to the movies or to an exhibition or to the beach with its supervisor, or attend with him a concert or watch the meteor shower in the middle of the night. You could have in fact complaine with Prof. T. right from the beginning and ask for another project or another supervisor. I know I was always a bit violently when I asked you to meet me after work,and who knows how often I have disturbed your planing for the evening when you wanted to read or write something for the project. Therefore,it is the least I can do to help you to get everything together know for the thesis, it is a very small compensation for all the nice days and moments you have been with me and for having been always so patient and listened to my silly stories and telling me something from you. You could have easily send me to hell, you never did (I hope you dont wish you could have done this, but you did not wanted to risk your project).

Ghazal, you will see at the end (and everybody will agree) that a successful MSc project does not need this archetypical and hirarchical relation between student and supervisor, but it also can be done if there is a (sort of) frienship.
For me,to be honest, you are too much a mystery to call this a simple friendship.

I wish you a pleasant evening, a relaxing night, and nice dreams.

Michael

PS:How is your watch doing ? I hope that “No news are good news” and it runs precisely now, since you gave it a bit more freedom around your arm.

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hi michael,

i think i found one mutation on the third exon.

yes u are right i could ask prof. t. for another project (and he would not give me another since i already tried in the beginning). but i enjoy it here i would not do it. u could also be a bad supervisor and not wanting to help. so i am grateful.

i send u a text with some questions. answer just if u have time. no hurry.

my watch is suprisingly doing great!its strange.

have a good day!!
/ghazal
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Ghazal my Dear,

Congratulations for finding a sequence variation in FGF10 in one of the mouse strains..
You could check (using Ensembl and search for FGF10 in mouse,and click on the left panel on the button for variations) if this sequence alteration was already described in any other mouse strain. You should also check if it might cause an amino-acid change, in case it is still part of the coding sequence (I remember large parts of exon 3 were already 3″ UTR. Maybe you find something.
Before I left, I already ordered primers to test the FGF10 transcript and expression. Could you,please write a mail to O. and ask if and where she has stored the JF1 and FVB/N RNA or cDNA from thyroid (she extracted it as part of her MSc for the expression array).

Thanks for writing that you feel o.k. with how the project developed and that you are o.k. with everything and don”t regret that you came to Munich. You gave me the nicest and most exciting summer of my life, Ghazal. I never felt so much inspiration, excitement and satisfaction to share with somebody a project and many hours after work as with you.

Take Care

Michael

PS:I go through your text today and send you comments tomorrow

Breakfast at Tiffany”s

Ghazal my Dear,

It was funny to hear that your parents used the phrase “Breakfast at Tiffany”s” to express some special moments that they somehow did not wanted to further explaine to their kids. The movie “Breakfast at Tiffany”s” , probabaly much more than the original book by Truman Capote, really became a cult movie, although I have to admit I watched it only a few years ago for the first time (the book, like all others by Capote I used to read much earlier). I fully understand your parents keeping the movie in a special corner of their hearts, but It is a pitty they have never tried to introduce you to it and explained what is so special about it (but it is perhaps difficult to explain by words, you have to watch it yourself). I think its values and great humanity is absolutely timeless, people will always find it just wundereful, it is lovely and it is sad at the same time.
And Audrey Hepburn, who plays the main character Holly Golightly is still considered the most lovely face ever shown on a cinema screeen (if you read and believe the comments on the International Movie Database).
But here I have to intervene and insist, that another girl, one that fears spiders and loves fast-food at KFC, has eyes and a smile and a lovely voice that leaves me spellbound more than Audrey Hepburn.

There are a couple of nice scenes from the movie on youtube.

I wish you a good night, nice dreams, wild REM phases, and a relaxed morning.

Take Care, Don”t run away when I am not here.

Michael

PS: Do you remember the Svarovsky-Exhibition in Wattens/Austria I told you about. The glass cristals they produced somehow continue the craftsman tradition of Tiffany”s. This would be another reason to go their and watch the Galery.

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hi michael,

now i think you are on the way. hope u will have a nice time.
thank you for the video. it was nice.

i am going to helmholtz. i did not want to leave yesterday, i want to prepare more gel electrophoresis and then write a bit.

take care
/ghazal
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Hi Ghazal my Dear,
It is a quite wild place we ended here. Internet only accesible through a donkey path. Have a nice Sunday.

Is it as hot in Germany as it is here ?

Did you had a nice weekend ? Breakfast at Tiffany”s is rarely on the cinema program. We have to wait or I”ll try to get a DVD.

Relax. my dear

Michael
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hi michael,
it was sunny, but not so warm, not inside anyway. yes i went to helmholtz yesterday, all alone. scary. did some pcr and elecrophoresis. and wrote a bit. today i tried to write a bit more. i looked at the cd you gave me, alot of articles there! got a bit scared, but its good.

have a nice and relaxing time there.

take care.
/Ghazal
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Ghazal, my dear,

thank you so much for writing occasionally. It warms up my heart (might sound very romantic, but it is real).

I hope you are o.k. I hope it was not too scary in the institute during the weekend. Did you came by bike ?
I don”t really feel here as I am doing vacacions. My thoughts are too much in munich, I”m worrying that you might need me right now to prepare the text for Prof. T. and to plan the next experiments.
Please, don”t hesitate to send me some parts of the text to go through. I really have nothing else important to do here.
I read some books here, but they can wait. For me it would be a pleasure to help you to take off some of the pressure.

Take Care, my dear

Michael

PS: The sea here is pretty wild. The beach is virtually made from rocks, and we are all a bit injured already. I hope there is sufficient Iodine in the sea water
to keep my wounds free of infections. You see, even here 900 km away from munich the iodine stays in the center of attention.

Spot the Stjaernfallen next week

Hi Ghazal my Dear,

Don”t know were you spend the evening tonight, but I”d like to remind you of the Perseiden Stjaernfallen that are most prominent these days. I think to watch them is also a good remedy for the sadness that one usually gets before beloved people leave.

Since the next two days might be quite cloudy, I think tonight is the only chance to view the fallen stars (nice term, isn”t it. Maybe we can see fallen stars like Whitney Houston, Britney Spears or Mikey Rourke tonight, or Michael Schumacher, Maradonna and the like).
To be honest, real Stjaernfallen are much nicer than these celebrities that greet us every day from the yellow-press.
To help you find the Perseides and have a good chance to spot some of the meteors, I made a scheme for you to get an orientation on the night sky.
perseiden
First try to find the northern direction (from your house look towards the Olympia TV-tower). Then turn your head further to the right, untill you see somewhere a very prominent constellation of stars called Cassiopeia (like a hughe W on the sky). Below or slightly left of Cassiopeia (depending at what time at night you are there) there is the constellation called Perseus, and the Stjaernfallen should originate from this site.

As I told you, according to mythology, you can express a wish whenever you see a Stjaernfallen, but you should not tell anybody about it.
I saw some already yesterday night, and I hope that neither of my wishes collided with your future planing. I tried to avoid anything that is related to the place or the country where you want to do your PhD project (I think this question is too much conflict-loaded).
Therefore, I”ll continue with wishes that I think everybody can live with.

Would be nice to read some words from you

Take Care

Michael

PS:
Just to avoid any confusion on the night sky: the description above referes to the site of I.s house. In case you are in Unterschleissheim tonight, you have to look north, but this will be almost opposite to the Olympia-TV-Tower. Standing in front of the guesthouse, you should then turn your eyes to the left (along Edith-Stein-Strasse).
Maybe you are not in the mood to watch the stars tonight at all. But be careful, than all my (crazy) wishes might come true.

Take Care, my dear

Michael

What a great song

Dear Ghazal,

Sorry for bothering you once again. Its not nice, I know, I”m sure you want to spend the last evening with your family without beeing disturbed by this silly guy from the institute.
So you don” t have to read this, maybe just keep it for later.
I was listening to the radio-station that you have shown me recently when we were coming back from the lake (Radio2Day). I have to admit, it is really the station with the nicest program. I only can not imagine, how you got caught by it, since they play only music from 20 years ago or so. It would confirm my suggestion that one instinctively likes the music that was around when one was still in the embryonal state or just born.
One of the greatest song ever sung they were just playing now, Gloria Gaynors “I will survive”. It is such an amazing and strong song, I could imagine that you sing it once. I hope that you will always be as strong as Gloria Gaynor and that you will never give up.

B.t.w. the whole Radio2Days you can listen through web-stream.

Sorry for beeing so unpersonal, Ghazal, but I haven”t heard from you something since Sunday, so I can not reply really to something that you wrote. I just like balloon flying with the wind here and there, and picking up what is around.

I miss you, there is nobody taking care of me

Michael

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,Than are dreamt of in our philosophy ++++ (Hamlet)

Hi Ghazal, my Dear,

Don”t know why I used the above “Subject” for this e-mail, but I guess Shakespeare fits equally well for many different occasions.
We gave B. today another 72 (!!!) tailtips to extract DNA from, to be used for fine-mapping. But as we discussed last week, you only have to genotype for the two flanking markers. Then it is enough to continue with the few (I estimate between 10 and 15) which have cross-over in this intervall, and use only for those the additional markers in between.
Don”t know why I”m so technical, guess you find this not very friendly. I should rather ask how you are doing, but I guess this is self-explained.

Ghazal you know, when you are away for a longer time I”m always worried that you wont come back at all. Therefore I so much depend on you sending some words or thoughts in the evening.

Hope we see you soon back.

Today I. wrote that she changed her flight, will only arrive on Wednesday. So you can carry on with the “Kuddkrig” and with “Bed-Jumping” (Please make a video of this, we can later upload it to Youtube and send a link to I :-)

Sleep well, dream well, relax

Michael

Quantum Entanglement, Dogs and the Problem of Longitude

Hi Ghazal, my Dear,

Hope you didn” got lost on your Random Walk (swedish “Slump Promenade”) through the Olympia shopping mall.

The swedish “Slump” (for Randomness) is really a very, very strange word, isn”t it. And in research, randomness is always what we like to minimize because it tends to obscure our observations, which we would like so much to interprete as a result of shear causality. In the formular for the genetic LOD-score = log10 (Likelihood for Linkage by causative gene)/(Likelihood for Linkage by chance) it is the denominator standing below the fraction line.

Interesting, in the swedish Wikipedia-entry for Slump/Randomness there is a indirect link to a subject I already mentioned recently: Quantum Entanglement or Kvantmekanisk sammanflätning. This subject is still a hot issue between opponents and proponets of the quantum-mechanics. But there is good evidence that it works. The principle is as following: You take two particles that form a pair (having a joint wavefunction) and therefore are dependent from each other in their quantum-mechanical status. When you separate them spatially, their joint wavefunction remains and therefore their correlation is preserved. It is now believed, that by “taking on of these particles with you” wherever you go, and leave the other particle at home, you always can determine the status of the remote particle. A recent study published in NATURE estimated, that the speed by which information can be exchanged this way is about 10 000 times faster than speed of light.
My proposal, you remember, was to use our two twin DKNY watches for a permanent informational link between us, because their status I believe is already “entangled” .

A funny idea emerged in the 18th century, assuming an extra-sensual information transfer could solve the problem in sea navigations of how to keep the precise time from their home country (this was crucial to determine the longitude). There was the hilarious theory that if you take two dogs from the same litter (virtually twins), and you leave one of them at home and take the other one on board a ship that will go around the world, then the two dogs remain linked to each other by a transzendental and telepathic connection. Therefore, whenever the dog at home is hurt (for instance by peeking it with a needle), the other dog on-board the ship instantly feels the pain and howls loudely. So when the dog that is left home is hurt once a day at 12 o”clock midday, the people on board the ship hear the second dog howling and this way they know precisely when it is 12 o”clock at home. Funny idea, isn”t it.
Unfortunately (but maybe furtunately for the dogs) this project never worked ;-}, and finally the english carpenter and self-educated watchmaker John Harrison constructed in the year 1735 the first ship chronometer that run precise enough over many weeks on board the ship and therefore allowed the determination of the geographic longitude.
Although the strange idea to use dogs telepathic abilities for this purpose was born in England in the 18th century, it later appeared so hilarious that nowadays the english Wikipedia refers to it only in an entry on “Powder of Sympathy” rather than in its larger article on “The problem of Longitude“. The german, as always very open to strange and esoteric ideas, still reproduces this telepathic dog hypothesis in their Wikipedia.
But who knows, maybe today with the knowledge of quantum-mechanic entanglement we can make it work using our two watches.

Enjoy the time, my dear, don”t condemn me

Michael

Back to the Scrap-Yard

Ghazal, my Dear,

After dropping you at the Guesthouse today, I was quarreling once again with myself for having missed the opportunity to kiss you. It was silly, I know, in particular after I made this terrible observation at a scrap-yard for cars. There I found the remnants of a red Toyota Corolla, that had its upper part shaved away as if St.Michaels sword was used to convert into a cabriolet, and the chairs stained with blood. Obviously, a whole families life was extinguished in an terrible car accident, perhaps within tenth of a second. scrap-metal-pressMaybe at least once in life one should see how instantly all our long-term plans can literally end in a scrap-compactor and our patience while waiting for second chances in life becomes obsolete.

Therefore I so much enjoy the nice moments beeing with you, although I always know in advance how terrific it will be later on when I have to leave you.

Michael

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hi michael,

yes it is nice to be with you. but as friends. and we know that i will leave soon, to go back home.
about the kiss,i am greatful that you did not go so far because i appreciate your friendship very much.hope you understand.

good night and have a good week-end.

/ghazal
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Hi Ghazal dear,

I very much appreciate your clear and firm statement, I think it is always best to be honest. I hope you considered my open, maybe shameless words in the last e-mail the same way and can tolerate them. The things are as they are, I have no clear idea how to handle it, no experience how to get alonge when emotional and professional relations intermingle. I very much admire that you deal with everything more wisely. For me it is a big help that you can live with the persian-cat blog (as long as it keeps your privacy intact) and that you have no problems communicating by e-mail with me.
What is most important right now, that your MSc project is not hampered, I think it even benefits from it. If you got a different feeling, please tell me.

Take Care, Sleep well

Michael

The Orphan Ghazal Receptor

Hi Ghazal, my Dear,

I hope everything went well today, that your family had a good flight and they like the flat and the neighbourhood and the fine car. You have been perhaps very busy organizing everything and enjoy to chat in your own language with your relatives.

Just would like to tell you, that Google had not managed to update their search results. The Persian-Cat blog went even higher on the list of hits after searching for your name. I have therefore replaced your name with the fictional “Azal”. I know you are not pleased with this, my dear, but it will only be temporary, untill Google has “forgotten” that there is a relation between Persian-Cat and your family name (hope this will happen within the next 1-2 weeks). Then I”ll revert the changes. At the moment Google still finds the blog, but if somebody starts to read it seems as if Google associated your name and the blog by mistake.

It was not easy for me to replace your real name with this “Azal”. I don”t mean the technical part, this was done just with a few mouse-clicks. But emotionally I did it with extreme unease.
I have no “receptor” for this abstract name “Azal”, it does not induce memories of nice moments as it is the case with your real name. Therefore I hope, I can revert these changes as soon as possible.

I hope you have a nice and pleasant evening with your family and sleep well and dream something interesting.

Michael

International Herald Tribune and Sauerkraut

hi michael!!

so sorry to bother you with my bike. wouldnt make it without your help. thank you.

i bought 3 sauerkraut!!! two for my family, and i will eat one today.

i have been thinking on what to write on my thesis in the introduction (separated from the aim), this is the subjects i thought about (and i have written a bit about each):
- thyroid in chernobyl
- thyroid morphology and the hormones
- the mice JF1 and FVB. and the mating and injection.
- gene mapping
- microsatellites
- QTL-analysis

you think this is good? is there something else..
do you want anything from sweden? or the airport?

have a good evening!

/ghazal

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Hi Ghazal, my Dear,

I just got your e-mail while I was contemplating about my own ignorance. I should not leave you so quickly today, I should not make the impression to come around only to screwing in the bike valves.
I should have stay for a bit longer to listen what you propose about the project outline.

In principle it is o.k. what you wrote. I would add something
– about the specifity of thyroid cancer in exposed children (including developmental steps of this organ during adolescence).
– general principles of inherited cancer susceptibility and specific cases of inherited susceptibility for acute or chronic radiation effects (like in XP-patients, ATM, NBCCS).

Relax, my dear, I will help you with everything. Don””””t worry,enjoy the days with your mom.

If you want to talk now, I”ll stay in the lab till about 10 p.m. (Tel. 31872628 , my mobile battery is down)

Thanks for asking if I like to have something from sweden or the airport. If you can pick-up an “International Herald Tribune” newspaper, this would be fine. Whenever you go to Sweden, bring me something personal, something I would have never thought of.

Take Care

Michael

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Ghazal, my Dear,

I”ll go home now. Sorry, today I have no funny story to tell you. I hope you don”t mind and you are in good mood anyhow.
If you think I can do something for you (in addition to my duties as a supervisor), please write. But I”m afraid you are to shy.

Sleep well, don”t let obscure doubts bother you at night. You are mighty, you are bright, you are wunderful. Never forget this.

Take Care, my dear.

Michael

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hi michael,

where can they find this newspaper? i will tell them, but dont know if they will find it. have a good night!!

/ghazal

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Ghazal my Dear,

Dont make to much effort, it is not worth it. Your family probably has a lot of luggage to carry, and they come to see you. Don”t let them search for the newspaper, its not so important. Sometimes the stewardess ask the passengers if somebody wants to read the “International Herald Tribune” on board, but really only if the stewardess offers them and delivers it to their seats. Please don”t ask your family to search for it on the airport.

I hope you all have a nice time and you can show your visitors around town a bid. Hope they got the same nice view from Munich as I got when you guided me around ;-}

Sleep well, in case I don”t hear anything from you the next days, I assume you are very bussy.

Take Care

Michael

PS: Are you serious about 2 packs of Sauerkraut for your family ???? Do you remember when you tried it first time in Unterschleissheim, when I gave you just some single slices to taste ? Maybe you also start with a small portion for your family. I assume they are not used to this type of very traditional food. Give them a chance to discover its taste slowly. Don”t force them to swallow a whole pack at once, same as you are doing it now.

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