Irans New Halal Internet

Irans head of economic affairs, Mr. Ali Aghamohammadi, surprised the whole IT community today by announcing the recent ground-breaking development from the Basiji telecommunication workshop:
The new Internet 3.0 with implemented Halal Option.

At the end of an IRNA press-conference in Teheran he entered the stage in his usual black business suit and started his speech with the words:

“One more thing: Iran will soon create an internet that conforms to Islamic principles and to improve its communication and trade links with the world.”

This next-generation Internet (termed Net 3.0) will include the following advanced features:

1.) Computers will work only if their screen is turned eastward, therefore facing Mekka.

2.) The internet data transmission will be interrupted 5 times a day precisely as determined by the Ajatollah Chamenei to allow everybody to attend the prayer.

3.) Computer mouse will be replaced by a computer lamb, since the first is not mentioned in the Quran as a halal creature.

4.) Before switching on, computer plugs have to be washed thoroughly under running water.

5.) The bus-size will be limitted to 11 bit. The 12th bit will be added only upon arrival of the Mahdi.

6.) Each computer will come with a chemical spray to clean it off StuxNet-Virus.

To read how the community of iranian bloggers welcomes this new announcement, klick here.

1 Responses to Irans New Halal Internet

  1. Hirre says:

    If they manage to create a parallell net they can decide to route all internet traffic to the new net and blocking out all connections to the old WWW or any foreign proxy addresses (IP range filtering). This is ultimately bad for the democracy movement… Hopefully they will not manage this because of the level of complexity involved in changing infrastructure…

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