On a train ride from Munich to the Alp mountains, between places that carry such pedestrian names as Miesbach (transl.: Ugly Creek) or Schliersee (transl.: Slimy Lake), the train radio announces the next stop will be “Agatharied”. The sound of this name resembles a magical spell, maybe of Sumerian or Egyptian origin. But apart from the enchanting melody of this name, it also stands far above the prosaic meanings of the names of the neighbouring places. “Agatharied” means “Reed of Divine Love”, and here the reference to the Reed beds, which are very common in the wet low-lands of this area, might indeed reminds one of the reed-lined banks of the Nil or Euphrat rivers.

Marina Keegan, still a Yale student in her last term, 22 years old, on track to become a writer for “The New Yorker”, wrote this essay “The Opposite of Loneliness“, that became her emotional legacy. Shortly after publishing her text in Yale Universities “Cross Campus”, Marina Keegan died in a car accident.

Throughout her essay she expresses a very clear, rational view on the conflict between our destiny as members of a complex, more and more annonymous society and our archaic desire to find a safe place in a community. She knows about the impossibility to harmonize these two forces, but she does not end in despair.

I came home yesterday, at night. Everything went good and I passed. I think the half-moon brought me luck. Thank you for all your help. I dont think anyone understood my project really, only one professor was asking me questions, but it was only some questions about the graphs.

Hope everything is fine with you.

take care
/ghazal

PS: At the end I”d like to tell you something funny: Do you know that right during my exam at UCL a few miles further south the road, at Battersea Park (must have been the area where you lived between 1993 and 1995) the real James Bond 007 Aston Martin car was auctioneered, and it “went over the counter” for 2.6 Mill. Pound. Some scenes from the original movie are here. And the most impressive intro with the title song by Shirley Bassey. Don”t know if you like this.
What I just found funny was the idea, that – while I was struggeling at UCL through the exam – you went to the auction at Battersea Park to bet for this car (I know your crazy love for exquisit vehicles ;-}

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Ghazal my Dear,

I can”t tell how happy I was hearing from you. How do you feel now, after having passed this important step on your professional path ? Do you feel relieved now, or rather exhausted ? Do you want me to update your homepage, stating that you now completed your MSc successfully ?
What are your next plans ? If you start to feel homesick for Munich, the guesthouse and who knows what else: Just take the next flight that brings you here.

Its very sunny those days, cold in the morning but usually gets quite warm during the day. Occasionally, I still go swimming in the lake after work. This morning I met your horse, but I think it did not saw me because of the mist.

I”m fine, more or less. Usually, when I got a mail from you and you ask about this I immediately feel alright. It is just the days when I don”t hear from you that make me become despair. Have not yet found a remedy for this.
What is realy a big, big relieve for me: That I don”t have this feeling of guilt anymore for illegally mixing personal feelings and professional relations, and that you might feel obliged to write or meet me only because you worry about the progress of your thesis. Its good that this is not an issue any more, that you passed your exam with glamour and you are now a fresh Master-of-Science. And I know that if you send me a mail now than this will only be because you like to do so and not because you think you have to please your supervisor. About this I am so happy, Ghazal.
It is a pitty that I missed the Battersea Car Auction, since I like James Bond a lot. But it is not just for the exquisit cars that he used to drive, but I admire the whole character of 007 and how he is placed in the system a lot. He represents a sort of prototype british hero: not ranking at the top of the hirarchie (like all the clerks of Q and M and the directors and minister and the prime-minister in their offices), 007 is the out-door hero, the one doing the field work. But at the end it is him who deserves our sympathy, who is the funny one and whom the girls like most for his smartnes and his humor and his dirty elegance.

After dropping you at the Guesthouse today, I was quarreling once again with myself for having missed the opportunity to kiss you. It was silly, I know, in particular after I made this terrible observation at a scrap-yard for cars. There I found the remnants of a red Toyota Corolla, that had its upper part shaved away as if St.Michaels sword was used to convert into a cabriolet, and the chairs stained with blood. Obviously, a whole families life was extinguished in an terrible car accident, perhaps within tenth of a second. Maybe at least once in life one should see how instantly all our long-term plans can literally end in a scrap-compactor and our patience while waiting for second chances in life becomes obsolete.

Therefore I so much enjoy the nice moments beeing with you, although I always know in advance how terrific it will be later on when I have to leave you.

Michael

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hi michael,

yes it is nice to be with you. but as friends. and we know that i will leave soon, to go back home.
about the kiss,i am greatful that you did not go so far because i appreciate your friendship very much.hope you understand.

good night and have a good week-end.

/ghazal
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Hi Ghazal dear,

I very much appreciate your clear and firm statement, I think it is always best to be honest. I hope you considered my open, maybe shameless words in the last e-mail the same way and can tolerate them. The things are as they are, I have no clear idea how to handle it, no experience how to get alonge when emotional and professional relations intermingle. I very much admire that you deal with everything more wisely. For me it is a big help that you can live with the persian-cat blog (as long as it keeps your privacy intact) and that you have no problems communicating by e-mail with me.
What is most important right now, that your MSc project is not hampered, I think it even benefits from it. If you got a different feeling, please tell me.

Take Care, Sleep well

Michael

It was a pitty I found your e-mail (the one you wrote 2 o”clock a.m. last night) only this morning.
Hopefully, you did not stoud awake for the rest of the night waiting for an answer. If I would have known that you didn”t sleep yet, I would have checked my mail-box at night again.
Sometimes it is fascinating to stay awake, while the rest of the world sleeps, don”t you think so ? One gets the feeling to be alone in the universe with its own thoughts, which can evolve more freely then. I think the night is a very productive time if one has to bring back to mind what happened during the day. O.k., one might lack some of the important REM-Phases in such a night, but this might be compensated by some extra nocturnal experiences. By the way, we have here in Germany the mythological figure of the Sandmann, a very friendly little gnome who visits all kids in the evening and blows them some sand into the face (to make them sleepy). Do you have such a character in Sweden too ? Here we even have a daily short TV-program featuring Sandman for the kids. This is supposed to be the signal for them to go to bed.

What you wrote about the relationship to your mom was very intriguing, and it is perhaps a rare case that between the generations such an intense and confidental link exists. But perhaps you are also very important for your mom,like the outpost in the modern world. For sure, she needs you as much as you need her. I would be extremely courious to see how you explain your mom your newly discovered love for our Sauerkraut. I mean the stuff is really delicious, therefore I absolutely understand you eat almost the whole pack at once. But still, the stuff is considered so typical german, that a commonen nickname for Germans in english is KRAUT.
But meanwhile, Sauerkraut also became very popular on the Balkan states (ask Natascha), in Russia and even in Korea (where they add some very spicy ingredients). And now, for the first time in history, we might see Sauerkraut even become a delicatesse in Sweden and Persia (with your help as a gourmet ambassador).

Ghazal, my dear, in case you want to hear some nice radio music tonight: a few minutes ago a 5 hours program about the Beatles started on Bavarian Radio 2 . You might find the station on your radio at 88.4 MHz or 89.5 MHz.

I hope you had a nice day and you had your own sunshine inside of you. I wish you a relaxing and inspiring evening and a night with nice dreams.

Take Care
Michael
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hi michael,

i slept directly after the email, its fine=)

i never thought about that, that u could be the awake while the world sleeps. i just have that feeling when i drive at night. i feel so free and that the road is mine haha.
no, i have never heard about the sandman before. how can sand make u sleep i wonder.

i ate all the sauerkraut today. really tasty. i told my mum about it and she think she knows what it is, i will show her when she comes.

i wish u a good night as well!!

/ghazal

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Ghazal, my dear,

you are perhaps an angel flying around at night in your dreams. Where do you drive at night in your car ? Could be dangerous, dont you think so ? But maybe you are looking just for this danger at night ?
Do you remember when I suggested your preference for the taste of Bitter Lemon might have something to do with a general feeling of convidence and overwhelming happiness, so you are intentionally seeking for some risk that gives you a thrill. It is the same why people go to the Tivoli fun fair, they usually only go if they are happy. And the thrill of danger at the giant wheel or the train-of-horrors shall add some flavour to an otherwise to monotonous happiness.

Ghazal, I miss you a bid.

Michael

Are you still awake ? It would be fair enough to escape this grey evening into morpheus empire (as an explanation for us and all other atheists : morpheus was the god of dreams and sleep in greek mythology).
I probably will watch a movie tonight in TV, therefor I stay up. Movie is called Brokeback Mountain, maybe you heard about it. It is about two gay cowboys and got very good critics and won several Oskars. I saw some other movies by the same director Ang Lee, which I liked.
Do you have some films to watch on your PC ? I will check next week if I find some DVDs in english language that I could give to you.

After I dropped you at the guesthouse tonight, I drove back along the completely empty Ingolstaedter Strasse. I tried maximum speed and for a couple of seconds reached 170 kmh. Thanks god, I did not fall asleep again. But this would have be extremely unlikely today, first because it is low altitute here, and second, but more relevant, because I always feel very inspired when we drove somewhere together and I ccould listen to your voice.

O, before I forget, here is something important for you (you see I first let you wait and make you read all this nonsense about a movie, my high-speed adventure and your voice before releasing the information that you asked me for):

There is indeed a shop called Adidas Original Munich. It is in Hohenzollernstrasse, near Munchener Freiheit. I”m sure you will find something suitable for your brother there. Lets go there tomorrow after work, and later I can bring you straight to your Airport Bus.

Hope you are fine

Good night

Michael

You probably filled your apartment already with the vanilla smell coming from the scent candle. Be carefull you don”t fall asleep with the candle still burning !!!
Was Chrysi satisfied with the pillow ? I was really amazed when I saw you testing the quality of the different cushions at the IKEA store. It so much reminded me of the fairytale “Prinzess on the pea” by Anderson (I think in swedish it is call “Prinsessan på ärten”). Did your parents told you this story ? If not, remind me of it and I will tell you sometime.
Ghazal, I have to admit that I was lying to you today: I have never been to this IKEA befor. I guess you felt it already when I drove 20 km to far north. Thanks god you are such a polite person that you did not said anything. I hope you are not disappointed now. I promise you, in general I”m very thrustworthy. An in particular if it comes to finding a way through an unknown landscape.

I will send you the old e-mail with the pictures from Berlin to your Helmholtz-Address, cause the images are probably to large to be seen on your mobile.

Sleep well ,
Michael

PS: I rarely had such an entertaining ride on the motorway, through the rain and the traffic jam as today with you. And I”m very happy if I can make you laugh.

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